


O-M-G Guys, Answer Me!

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Asexual Christine Canigula, Asexual Jenna Rolan, Biromantic Jenna Rolan, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Bisexual Rich Goranski, Canon Bisexual Character, Child Neglect, Coming Out, Drug Use, F/F, Gay Michael Mell, Homophobia, I have no self-control, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Jeremy Heere Is a Furry, Lesbian Chloe Valentine, M/M, Michael Mell & Chloe Valentine Friendship, Michael Mell Has Two Moms, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Oblivious Brooke Lohst, Oblivious Jeremy Heere, Other, Panic Attacks, Panromantic Christine Canigula, Pansexual Brooke Lohst, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Post-Canon, Post-Squip, They smoke weed tho, They're pining besties, groupchat fic, not in a bad way, so this is happening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23706634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: M. Mell has named the groupchat "We're Gathered Heere To-Gay"M. Mell has changed their name to "Gayer-One"Gayer-One: welcome gays
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Christine Canigula/Jenna Rolan, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 49
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**_ 0317 _ **

**_M. Mell has added J. Heere, R. Goranski, J. Dillinger, J. Rolan, B. Lohst, C. Valentine and C. Canigula to a groupchat_ **

**_M. Mell has named the groupchat "We're Gathered Heere To-Gay"_ **

**_M. Mell has changed their name to "Gayer-One"_ **

**_Gayer-One has changed J. Heere's name to "Gayer-Two"_ **

_Gayer-One:_ welcome gays

 _J. Rolan:_ Michael

 _J. Rolan:_ it is three in the morning

 _Gayer-One:_ perfect gaming time

 _Gayer-Two:_ if its so early then why r u awake huhhhh Jenna????

 _J. Rolan:_ i have homework due first thing in the morning

 _Gayer-One:_ you are always doing homework tho??

 _J. Rolan:_ ...

 _J. Rolan:_ there's a 79% chance that it's not homework 

_J. Rolan:_ and it's just for the gossip blog

 _C. Valentine:_ why the FUCK is my phone pinging at this time?????

 _Gayer-One:_ sorryyyyy

 _C. Valentine:_ i hate you Mell

 _Gayer-One:_ no you dont

 _C. Valentine:_ ...

 _C. Valentine:_ no i don't

 _C. Valentine:_ anyways shut the fuck up 

**_Gayer-One has changed C. Valentine's name to "Slutty Baby"_ **

_Slutty Baby:_ you are dead to me

**_ 0802 _ **

_J. Dillinger:_ groupchats are fun, lets cause hell

 _R. Goranski:_ we can plan so much shit here nowww

 _Gayer-One:_ we always cause hell anyways

**_Gayer-One has changed R. Goranski's name to "Totally Bi Now"_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ youre never gonna let me live that down?

 _Gayer-One:_ nope

**_Gayer-One has changed J. Dillinger's name to "Sport"_ **

_Sport:_ well thats not very creative

 _Gayer-One:_ i dont know you well

 _Gayer-One:_ so in my mind youre just the sport one

 _Gayer-Two:_ okay but deadass

 _Gayer-Two:_ Chloe is stronger than him

 _Sport:_ no shes not?

 _Gayer-Two:_ she is

 _Gayer-One:_ she is

 _Totally Bi Now:_ she is

 _Sport:_ damn okay

 _B. Lohst:_ she beat you in an arm wrestle once

 _Gayer-Two:_ deadass?

 _Sport:_ i probably let her win

 _B. Lohst:_ you spent the rest of the night moping

 _Gayer-One:_ i live for Brooke dragging Jake

 _B. Lohst:_ :)

**_Gayer-One has changed B. Lohst's name to "Banana"_ **

_Banana:_ that's cute af

 _Gayer-One:_ im refering to the time you yoted a banana at me during rehersals for the play

 _Banana:_ oh

 _Banana:_ still a cute name tho

 _Slutty Baby:_ why does Brooke get a cute name but i get this

 _Gayer-One:_ because

 _Slutty Baby:_ because?

 _Gayer-One:_ because.

 _Slutty Baby:_ i hate you so fucking much

 _Gayer-One:_ i love you too chlo

 _Slutty Baby:_ shut u p and get ready for school

 _Gayer-One:_ could say the same to you

 _C. Canigula:_ Children, both of you get ready for school

 _Gayer-One:_ okay

 _Slutty Baby:_ mom

**_Gayer-One has changed C. Canigula's name to "Mom"_ **

**_0833_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ i have a feeling something is gonna go wrong today

**_ 0921 _ **

_Sport:_ oh shittt

 _Totally Bi Now:_ oh and i was right

 _Gayer-Two:_ what happened???

 _Totally Bi Now:_ well

 _Sport:_ Chloe may have just broke Madeline's nose?

 _Banana:_ W H A T ?

 _Gayer-One:_ W H A T ? ? ? 

_Totally Bi Now:_ in all fairness

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Madeline hit Chloe first

 _Banana:_ W H A T !

 _Gayer-One:_ explain please before i pass out

 _Totally Bi Now:_ well you know how we all use the drama room for out LGBTQ+ group?

 _Gayer-One:_ yeh

 _Totally Bi Now:_ well Madeline saw Chloe reading one of the posters that we put up and called her the d-slur

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe called her a bitch and went to walk away but Madeline punched her in the face

 _Totally Bi Now:_ so Chloe punched her back

 _Totally Bi Now:_ and now they both got sent out

 _Gayer-One:_ brb going to murder that bitch

 _Sport:_ i've never seen chlo like that

 _Gayer-One:_ like what?

 _Sport:_ when Madeline called her that word, she just looked so

 _Totally Bi Now:_ hurt?

 _Sport:_ yeah

 _Gayer-One:_ okay now i am actually going to go murder that bitch

 _Sport:_ no murder

 _Sport:_ we can do that after school hours

 _Gayer-One:_ ...

 _Gayer-One:_ fine


	2. Chapter 2

**_ 0946 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Sport:_ Jenna

_J. Rolan:_ before you say anything, it was Dustin who posted it, not me 

_Sport:_ still

_Gayer-Two:_ how did he get a whole article out in 20 minutes

_Totally Bi Now:_ hes a gossip blogger

_Gayer-Two:_ thats a fair enough point

_Banana:_ hes also an asshole

_Mom:_ Class is over and i read up

_Mom:_ It explains why Michael ran out mid lesson

_Gayer-Two:_ is he okay???

_Mom:_ He told the teacher that he had to go to the office

_Gayer-Two:_ so hes with Chloe then??????

_Mom:_ I'd imagine so

_Mom:_ They're pretty much siblings, I wouldn't be surprised

_Gayer-Two:_ siblings?

_Mom:_ Yeah?

_Gayer-Two:_ it doesnt look that way to me

_Mom:_ I'm going to private message you and knock some sense into your head

**_ 0957 _ **

**_Dishwasher >>> Baby Bi_ **

_Dishwasher:_ You think that Michael and Chloe like each other?

_Baby Bi:_ they spend more time together than Michael and i do

_Dishwasher:_ Jeremy

_Dishwasher:_ Platonic love of my life

_Dishwasher:_ You're a moron

_Dishwasher:_ A stupid moron

_Baby Bi:_ i didnt ask for this callout

**_ 1013 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Gayer-One:_ does anyone know how to cover a black eye when the person youre trying to help is a little shit?

_Mom:_ What?

_Gayer-One:_ Chloe wont let me help cover her eye because she said it hurts too much to touch

_Gayer-One:_ but she wont leave the bathroom because she doesnt want people to see it

_Gayer-One:_ this bitch is dumb and annoying

_Slutty Baby:_ youre an asshole

_Gayer-One:_ love youuuu

_Gayer-One:_ i heard you scoff bitch

_Sport:_ so what happened when you went to the office?

_Gayer-One:_ Madeline got suspeneded for 2 weeks and chlo has detention after school on friday

_Sport:_ ugh why friday

_Gayer-One:_ to piss us all off

_Gayer-One:_ its only for like 2 hours tho

_Totally Bi Now:_ yeah but it takes her about 8 years to get ready for us to hang out

_Slutty Baby:_ r u d e

_Gayer-One:_ fix yourself bitch i dont like hanging around the bathrooms

_Slutty Baby:_ i dont know HOW

_Mom:_ Nobody will judge you for it, you know?

_Slutty Baby:_ how do i know tho

_Mom:_ You're the most popular girl in school? And, you're scarily strong?

_Gayer-One:_ moms always got our back

_J. Rolan:_ Rich just had a laughing fit in class and won't explain why

_Totally Bi Now:_ CHLOES USERNAME MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE

_Gayer-One:_ did it not make sense before???

_Totally Bi Now:_ SHES ACTING LIKE A BABY ABOUT THE PAIN FROM IT BUT SHES THE STRONGEST OUT OF ALL OF US

_Slutty Baby:_ that was a mix of a insult and a complement

_Slutty Baby:_ thank you but also fuck you asshole?

_J. Rolan:_ the lack of commas makes me nausious

_Slutty Baby:_ thank, you, but, also, fuck, you, asshole, ?

_Gayer-One:_ petty bitch

_Slutty Baby:_ you spelt pretty wrong

_Gayer-One:_ i will kick you out

_Slutty Baby:_ wait no 

_Slutty Baby:_ that is so not fair

_Gayer-Two:_ kick her out of where?

_Gayer-One:_ umm

_Gayer-One:_ well

_J. Rolan:_ and now they're both offline

_Gayer-Two:_ little shits

_J. Rolan:_ they're both taller than you

_Gayer-Two:_ i would change your username but Michael is the only admin

_J. Rolan:_ :)

**_ 1034 _ **

**_Gay Loser >>> Gay Bitch_ **

_Gay Loser:_ aHHHHHHHH

_Gay Bitch:_ rt

_Gay Loser:_ im sorry i didnt think

_Gay Bitch:_ its fine

_Gay Bitch:_ well

_Gay Bitch:_ Jeremy is gonna question us now

_Gay Bitch:_ more than he already was

_Gay Bitch:_ aside from that its fine

_Gay Bitch:_ but like

_Gay Bitch:_ please dont kick me out

_Gay Bitch:_ not yet at least

_Gay Loser:_ Chloe

_Gay Loser:_ you know i would never

_Gay Loser:_ im not gonna let you go back to a situation like that

_Gay Loser:_ how long is it until they leave again tho?

_Gay Bitch:_ sunday i think

_Gay Loser:_ well you can always stay when theyre back

_Gay Loser:_ you know im here for you

_Gay Bitch:_ thank you Michael

_Gay Loser:_ the others would be there for you too you know

_Gay Bitch:_ they all have their own problems

_Gay Bitch:_ they dont need mine too

_Gay Loser:_ unlock the bathroom door rn

_Gay Loser:_ im giving you the biggest fucking hug and then were gonna ditch 

_Gay Bitch:_ love you nerd

_Gay Loser:_ love you too dumbass

**_ 1117 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Banana:_ okay where the hell?????

_Sport:_ where the hell what?

_Banana:_ Chloe and Michael are both meant to be in my english but neither of them are here

_Mom:_ Are they skipping classes?

_Gayer-One:_ ye

_Mom:_ Oh my god

_Mom:_ Where are you at least?

_Gayer-One:_ my basementtt

_Gayer-Two:_ Michael

_Gayer-Two:_ are you high?

_Gayer-One:_ ye

_Banana:_ and chlo is with you?

_Gayer-One:_ yee

_Gayer-Two:_ huh

_Mom:_ Did you get her high too?

_Gayer-One:_ yeeeeeeeeeeee

_Banana:_ oh my godd

_Mom:_ Are you both okay and safe?

_Gayer-One:_ im fine

_Gayer-One:_ chlo fell off the bed and just lay on the floor for an hour

_Gayer-One:_ shes not hurt thoo

_Gayer-One:_ shes been laughing for 20 minutes tho

_Banana:_ did you break her?

_Gayer-One:_ noooo?

_Gayer-One:_ tHE PIZZA IS DONE

_Mom:_ YOU MADE PIZZA WHILE YOU WERE HIGH?

_Gayer-One:_ im a responcabele high boi

_Banana:_ responcabele

**_Gayer-One has removed Banana from the groupchat_ **

_Mom:_ Michael

**_Gayer-One has added B. Lohst to the groupchat_ **

**_Gayer-One has changed B. Lohst's name to "Banana"_ **

_Banana:_ rude

_Gayer-One:_ i said that you called me rude and chlo called you homophobic

_Gayer-One:_ but she said honomobic instead of homophobic

_Banana:_ and she said that Rich couldn't handle his pot...

_Gayer-One:_ it was sum of my stronger stuff tho

_Gayer-One:_ SHIT THE PIZZA

_Mom:_ Good god

_Banana:_ theyre going to die before lunch arent they?

_Mom:_ I wouldn't be surprised

_**1134** _

_**Baby Bi >>> Dishwasher** _

_Baby Bi:_ whyd he go home with Chloe

_Baby Bi:_ and hes in the basement with her?

_Baby Bi:_ where him and i always hang out?

_Baby Bi:_ and hes getting high with her?

_Baby Bi:_ is he trying to replace me?

_Baby Bi:_ is he trying to replace me with her?

_Baby Bi:_ they always hang out now

_Baby Bi:_ they act like theyre dating

_Dishwasher:_ They act like they're dating by doing the things that you and Michael always do?

_Baby Bi:_ NO

_Baby Bi:_ thats not what i meant

_Baby Bi:_ but theyre skipping school to hang out?

_Dishwasher:_ Jeremy

_Dishwasher:_ Chloe was called a slur and then punched during first period

_Dishwasher:_ I'm sure that Michael is just being a good friend and helping take her mind off of it

_Baby Bi:_ why didnt she go to Brooke then?

_Baby Bi:_ theyve been best friends for years

_Dishwasher:_ I don't know, Jeremy

_Dishwasher:_ You could always ask one of them?

_Baby Bi:_ Chloe scares me and i cant just ask Michael

_Baby Bi:_ hey why are you hanging out with Chloe more than me now?

_Dishwasher:_ You're overthinking this

_Baby Bi:_ maybe so

_Dishwasher:_ Does this have to do with you being in love with Michael?

_Baby Bi:_ NO

_Baby Bi:_ IM NOT ANYWAYS

_Baby Bi:_ im not

_Dishwasher:_ You're not subtle 

_Baby Bi:_ even if i was idk if he likes guys

_Dishwasher:_ Jeremy

_Dishwasher:_ He has a gay pride patch on his hoodie and he's part of out LGBTQ+ group

_Dishwasher:_ and his username is "Gayer-One"

_Baby Bi:_ he could just be there to support us like Chloe and Jake are

_Dishwasher:_ Did you just...

_Dishwasher:_ Jeremy, we're all in a group chat called "We're Gathered Heere To-Gay"

_Dishwasher:_ And you think that either of them are straight?

_Baby Bi:_ they used to date?

_Dishwasher:_ So did you and I

_Baby Bi:_ point taken...

**_ 1217 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Slutty Baby:_ Michael threw a slice of pizza at the wall

_Banana:_ why

_Slutty Baby:_ your guess would be as good as mine

_Slutty Baby:_ we were watching tv and he just screamed and threw the pizza

_Banana:_ what are you watching?

_Slutty Baby:_ ...

_Slutty Baby:_ Teen Titans Go

_Banana:_ ok

_Mom:_ Brooke just started laughing so hard that she hit her head off of the back of her car seat

_Mom:_ She's not driving yet, obviously

_Mom:_ Anyway, is Michael angry at something?

_Slutty Baby:_ wait

_Slutty Baby:_ brb

_Totally Bi Now:_ nobody says brb now

_Totally Bi Now:_ thats a 2014 thing

_Sport:_ where are you and Brooke going?

_Mom:_ To Michael's house to make sure that neither of them destroy the place

_Totally Bi Now:_ theyre going to have an orgy

_Mom:_ Gross

_Totally Bi Now:_ oh shit yeah

_Totally Bi Now:_ uhhh

_Totally Bi Now:_ theyre going to have a threesome and Chris is going to eat pizza?

_Mom:_ Slightly less gross, but still gross

**_1223_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_**Mom has sent a photo** _

_**J. Rolan has taken a screenshot** _

_J. Rolan:_ it's for research

_Sport:_ sure it is

_Totally Bi Now:_ did you two just walk into his house and find them like that?

_Gayer-Two:_ whats the photo it wont load

_Sport:_ Michael and Chloe are passed out asleep and cuddling on the couch in the basement

_Gayer-Two:_ oh

_J. Rolan:_ i don't think i've ever seen Chloe look so relaxed and calm

_** 1226 ** _

**_Bi 1 >>> Bi 2_ **

_Bi 1:_ yo jer where you going?

_Bi 2:_ the bathroom Rich

_Bi 1:_ you looked upset

_Bi 1:_ wait

_Bi 1:_ do you like one of them?

_Bi 1:_ is that why youre upset??

_Bi 2:_ it doesnt matter does it?

_Bi 2:_ theres clearly something going on between them

_Bi 1:_ dude

_Bi 1:_ Michael is gay

_Bi 1:_ and not in the insult way

_Bi 1:_ anddddd

_Bi 1:_ have you seen the way Chloe looks at Brooke?

_Bi 1:_ major gay vibes

_Bi 2:_ then why were they all cuddly then?

_Bi 1:_ because theyre close friends?

_Bi 2:_ i guess

_Bi 1:_ talk to them about it if it bothers you

_Bi 2:_ ill talk to Michael when hes awake and not high

_Bi 1:_ good choice bro


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini trigger warning:  
> Panic attacks  
> Referenced/implied self-harm  
> Referenced/implied child abuse

**_ 1458 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_**Gayer-One has taken a screenshot** _

_Gayer-One:_ thats cute

_Gayer-One:_ wait

_Gayer-One:_ uh oh

_J. Rolan:_ what's wrong?

_Gayer-One:_ well

_Gayer-One:_ i have more than 100 texts from people at school

_Gayer-Two:_ maybe because you left school with the most popular girl and it look...

_Gayer-Two:_ uh weird

_Gayer-One:_ u g h

_Gayer-One:_ do people not realise that im gay?

_Gayer-One:_ like rainbow flag man?

_J. Rolan:_ some people thought you were bi or pan or something

_Gayer-One:_ full rainbow boy here

_J. Rolan:_ what did the texts say?

_Gayer-One:_ stuff like

_Gayer-One:_ whyd you leave school with Chloe r u 2 dating???

_Gayer-One:_ this one is funny

_Gayer-One:_ did u leave school to have sexxxxxx with heather chandler 2.0?

**_Gayer-One has changed Slutty Baby's name to "Heather Chandler 2.0"_ **

_J. Rolan:_ so, what are you going to do?

_J. Rolan:_ cause I already know that Dustin is going to be working on a post

_Gayer-Two:_ of course he is

_Gayer-One:_ idk

_Gayer-One:_ ill need to talk to chlo and see what she says about it

_J. Rolan:_ why do you two always seem to be together recently

_Gayer-One:_ haha

_J. Rolan:_ and he's offline again

_J. Rolan:_ little shit

**_ 1512 _ **

**_Furry >>> Weedy_ **

_Furry:_ so theres nothing going on with you and Chloe?

_Weedy:_ duh

_Weedy:_ im a gay disaster jer

_Furry:_ ok

_Weedy:_ why?

_Furry:_ youve

_Weedy:_ ??

_Furry:_ youre hanging out with her loads suddenly

_Furry:_ like

_Furry:_ more than me

_Weedy:_ you jelly?

_Furry:_ shut up

_Weedy:_ you jelly

_Furry:_ we havent been hanging out much and youre getting stoned with her in your basement suddenly?

_Furry:_ i just feel like im being replaced?

_Weedy:_ jer

_Weedy:_ jer-bear

_Weedy:_ i could never replace you

_Weedy:_ Chloes been going through some shit and ive just been there for her

_Furry:_ but why is it you and not Brooke?

_Furry:_ when did you two get so close?

_Weedy:_ its

_Weedy:_ complicated and pretty personal

_Furry:_ oh

_Weedy:_ its not my place to share it

_Weedy:_ but youre not being replaced 

_Weedy:_ im your bestest fwiend

_Weedy:_ nothing could change that

_Furry:_ nothing?

_Weedy:_ nope nothing

_Weedy:_ why???

_Weedy:_ you wanna confess that youre secretly in love with me??????

_Furry:_ no

_Weedy:_ well

_Weedy:_ if that day ever comes id probably not beat you at Apocalypse of the Damned too bad

**_ 1523 _ **

**_Baby Bi >>> Dishwasher_ **

**_Baby Bi has sent a photo_ **

_Dishwasher:_ You're a disaster

_Baby Bi:_ i know

**_ 1524 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

**_Heather Chandler 2.0 has taken a screenshot_ **

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ he just the slice of pizza that he threw at the wall

_Mom:_ Of course he did

_Sport:_ FRIENDS!

_Totally Bi Now:_ PARTY!

_Sport:_ FRIDAY NIGHT

_Totally Bi Now:_ AT JAKES NEW HOUSE

_Sport:_ VERY LITTLE ALCOHOL BECAUSE

_Sport:_ because of Halloween 

_Totally Bi Now:_ :(

_Sport:_ but we WILL have fun

_Totally Bi Now:_ and that means that Chloe has to get ready in less than 2 hours

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ not possible

_Banana:_ i could come over and help you choose what to wear?

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ uh

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ maybe next time brookie

_Banana:_ oh

_Banana:_ okay sure

**_ 1529 _ **

**_Gay Bitch >>> Gay Loser_ **

_Gay Bitch:_ ughhhhhhh

_Gay Bitch:_ i think i have to tell her

_Gay Bitch:_ i dont want her to think that im just blowing her off

_Gay Loser:_ ha blowing

_Gay Bitch:_ Michael

_Gay Loser:_ right issues focus time

_Gay Bitch:_ i dont want her to be upset 

_Gay Bitch:_ but i dont want her to think that i couldnt tell her

_Gay Bitch:_ shit

_Gay Loser:_ are you good?

_Gay Bitch:_ i dunno

_Gay Bitch:_ im gonna call her and see what happens

_Gay Loser:_ good luck chlo

_Gay Loser:_ ill be in the basement if you need me

_Gay Bitch:_ thanks mike

**_ 1536 _ **

**_Incoming phone call from 'Chlo <3'_ **

_B:_ Hello?

_C:_ Hey Brookie

_B:_ Oh, hey Chlo

_C:_ Ar- Can we talk just now?

_B:_ Sure

_C:_ I'm not blowing you off, I'd love for you to come over... but

_B:_ But?

_C:_ I'm... god, this is harder than I thought it would be, Jesus

_B:_ Are you okay, Chlo?

_C:_ I'm not at home

_B:_ I know, you're at Michael's-

_C:_ No, I mean I'm not living at home... just now

_B:_ Wait, what? Why?

_C:_ My mom came back from her trip with her new husband

_B:_ O...kay?

_C:_ Neither of them like me all that much

B: Oh

_C:_ I just- I can't be with them

_B:_ Oh

_C:_ I- I can't- they-

_B:_ Hey, Chlo. It's alright, just breathe okay?

_C:_ I can't-

_B:_ I'll be at Michael's in a minute, okay? I'll be right there

**_Phone call ended_ **

**_1542_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Gayer-One:_ Brooke nearly broke my front fucking door

_Gayer-One:_ like

_Gayer-One:_ i come up from the basement and the door is wide open

_Gayer-One:_ i heard her footsteps a few minutes ago

_Gayer-One:_ but jeez

_Gayer-Two:_ why?

_Gayer-One:_ idk

_Gayer-One:_ she went upstairs

_Gayer-One:_ oh shit

_Gayer-One:_ im an idiot

_Gayer-One:_ its gucci

_J. Rolan:_ please don't say that again

_Gayer-One:_ its gucci

_J. Rolan:_ i hate this bitch

_J. Rolan:_ i will expose you 

_Gayer-One:_ isnt Dustin exposing me already?

_J. Rolan:_ that happened an hour ago

_Gayer-One:_ ugh

_Gayer-Two:_ did you talk to Chloe about the situation yet?

_Gayer-One:_ something else came up before we could

_Gayer-Two:_ oh

_J. Rolan:_ what came up?

_Gayer-One:_ stuff :)

_J. Rolan:_ it is my duty to know everything about everyone

_Gayer-One:_ have funnnn

_J. Rolan:_ you're such a little shit, istg Mell

**_ 1547 _ **

**_Broke >>> Milk_ **

_Broke:_ come upstairs

_Milk:_ why

_Broke:_ Michael please

_Milk:_ whats up?

_Broke:_ chlo needs you

_Milk:_ im coming

_Broke:_ bring bandages

_Milk:_ shit

**_ 1549 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Gayer-One:_ the magic mike has been summoned

_Sport:_ sorry the WHAT?

_Gayer-Two:_ we watched that together and Michael immediately claimed the name

_Totally Bi Now:_ you watched a very sexy male film together?

_Gayer-Two:_ it sounds weird when you say it like that

_Sport:_ it sounded weird before too

_Totally Bi Now:_ and why was he summoned?

_Totally Bi Now:_ was he summoned to have sex?

_Totally Bi Now:_ IS MICHAEL GOING TO HAVE SEX?

_Mom:_ And this is why rumours spread

_J. Rolan:_ i'm tempted to share this

_Mom:_ Jenna

_J. Rolan:_ i won't

_J. Rolan:_ probably

_Gayer-Two:_ anyways

_Totally Bi Now:_ where did Michael go tho???

_Sport:_ Brooke's at his house and Chloe was last time we checked too?

_Totally Bi Now:_ that threesome offer from earlier still stands

_Mom:_ Michael told all of us that he's gay

_Totally Bi Now:_ ...shh

**_ 1614 _ **

**_Furry >>> Weedy_ **

_Furry:_ are you okay?

**_ 1621 _ **

_Furry:_ mikey?

_Furry:_ what happened?

**_ 1633 _ **

_Furry:_ mike

**_1712_ **

_Furry:_ mike?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> Reference self-harm  
> Reference child abuse

**_ 2018 _ **

**_Weedy >>> Furry_ **

_Weedy:_ sorry jer

 _Weedy:_ something happened so i couldnt use my phone for a while

 _Furry:_ are you alright?

 _Weedy:_ yeah im fine

 _Furry:_ what happened?

 _Furry:_ if you dont mind me asking

 _Weedy:_ uhh

 _Weedy:_ okay she said i can tell you about it all

 _Weedy:_ its pretty complicated tho

 _Furry:_ okay?

 _Weedy:_ so

 _Weedy:_ Chloe has kinda been living with me for the last two weeks

 _Weedy:_ her mom and her moms new husband came back from one of their trips

 _Weedy:_ and uh

 _Weedy:_ neither of them are too fond of chlo

 _Weedy:_ her mom hurts her a lot

 _Weedy:_ and the husband is a perv and tried to watch her shower

 _Furry:_ what the fuck?

 _Weedy:_ ik

 _Weedy:_ i ended up finding some of the bruises on her wrist one day and she explained it all to me

 _Weedy:_ she didnt feel safe so i offered her the spare room at mine and shes been living her since

 _Weedy:_ she said that she would go back when they leave for another trip which is on sunday

 _Weedy:_ but tonight she didnt want Brooke to feel like she was blowing her off so she called her and tried to explain it

 _Weedy:_ and ended up having a panic attack in the bathroom and kinda

 _Weedy:_ hurt herself

 _Weedy:_ which is why Brooke and i went missing earlier

 _Furry:_ is she okay now?

 _Weedy:_ yeah were all watching cartoons just now

 _Furry:_ are you okay?

 _Weedy:_ yeah

 _Weedy:_ it was just like

 _Weedy:_ a lot suddenly

 _Weedy:_ today has been such a shit show

 _Weedy:_ i get it now

 _Furry:_ get what?

 _Weedy:_ i get how you would feel whenever you knew that i hurt myself

 _Weedy:_ the nauseous feeling

 _Weedy:_ just

 _Weedy:_ jer ive never seen her look so scared

 _Weedy:_ not even when i first found out about what was happening at her house

 _Weedy:_ she looked terrified and neither of us could calm her down for ages

 _Weedy:_ i felt helpless and i hadnt even realised that id started to cry until tears smudged on my glasses

 _Weedy:_ dont think ill be able to beat your ass on COD tonight

 _Furry:_ thats not a problem mikey

 _Furry:_ im here if you need to talk okay?

 _Weedy:_ thanks jer-bear

 _Furry:_ get some sleep early tonight

 _Furry:_ and tell Chloe that im here for her if she wants

 _Furry:_ we would all be there for her if she chose to tell the others

 _Weedy:_ i will

 _Weedy:_ night jer

 _Furry:_ night mikey

**_ 2043 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ do ducks have bones?

 _Mom:_ Yes?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ what would happen if a duck broke a bone?

 _Mom:_ It'd probably just suffer through it

 _Totally Bi Now:_ could you take it to the vet?

 _Gayer-Two:_ Rich

 _Gayer-Two:_ do you have an injured duck?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ maybe

 _Gayer-Two:_ do you want me to drive you to the vets?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ please

 _Totally Bi Now:_ i dont want this fella to be in pain

 _Totally Bi Now:_ hes too cute

**_Totally Bi Now has sent a photo_ **

**_Gayer-Two has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Mom has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Sport has taken a screenshot_ **

**_J. Rolan has taken a screenshot_ **

_Mom:_ He is now everyone's son

 _Sport:_ when Rich said he was going on a walk

 _Sport:_ this was not the outcome that i expected

 _Mom:_ Sometimes, I forget that you two live together

 _Totally Bi Now:_ how?

 _Sport:_ we never seem to shut up about it

 _J. Rolan:_ Rich, you called it Jake's new house yesterday

 _Totally Bi Now:_ okay fair enough

 _Gayer-Two:_ Rich where are you

 _Totally Bi Now:_ by the park

 _Totally Bi Now:_ by the big yellow slide

 _Mom:_ You found a duck at the playpark?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ yes

 _Totally Bi Now:_ I SEE THE CAR

 _Totally Bi Now:_ QUACKERS AND I WILL BE SAVED

 _J. Rolan:_ you weren't in danger?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ ...

 _Totally Bi Now:_ QUACKERS WILL BE SAVED

**_2147_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Gayer-Two:_ i didnt expect my night to be spent in a vet waiting for Rich and his duck

 _J. Rolan:_ I don't think today went as anyone predicted 

_Gayer-Two:_ thats a good point

 _Mom:_ The chat seems awfully calm

 _J. Rolan:_ probably cause Michael, Brooke and Chloe are MIA

 _Mom:_ That's probably why

 _Mom:_ Speaking of, what happened earlier?

 _J. Rolan:_ why did Brooke almost break Michael's door

 _Gayer-Two:_ Chloe wasn't feeling too good so they decided to watch tv and sleep early

 _Mom:_ Oh, okay

 _J. Rolan:_ how do you know?

 _Gayer-Two:_ mike messaged me

 _Sport:_ ;)

 _Gayer-Two:_ shut up Jake

 _Sport:_ :(

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Quackers has a sling

 _Totally Bi Now:_ i repeat Quackers has a sling

**_Totally Bi Now has sent a photo_ **

**_Mom has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Gayer-Two has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Sport has taken a screenshot_ **

**_J. Rolan has taken a screenshot_ **

_J. Rolan:_ I'd murder for him

 _Mom:_ Please don't

 _J. Rolan:_ we'll see

**_ 2204 _ **

**_Jock™ >>> Popular™ _ **

_Jock™:_ hey chlo

 _Jock™:_ idk what happened today with you but jer said you didnt feel well

 _Jock™:_ im here for you if you need me

 _Jock™:_ all of us are here for you

 _Jock™:_ we love you

 _Jock™:_ just so you know

 _Jock™:_ sleep well 


	5. Chapter 5

**_ 0712 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Sport:_ it is wednesday my doods

 _Totally Bi Now:_ uGHHHH

 _Sport:_ the fact that i heard you make the actual noise from the bathroom too...

 _Banana:_ gross

 _Sport:_ hey Brooke

 _Sport:_ you good?

 _Banana:_ yeah

 _Banana:_ my back hurts from sleeping on Michaels couch tho

 _Banana:_ in all fairness we all fell asleep there

 _Sport:_ are we gonna hear you all complain about sore backs and shoulders all day?

 _Banana:_ yes

 _Banana:_ anyways im gonna go shower

 _J. Rolan:_ Rich

 _Totally Bi Now:_ yessss?

 _J. Rolan:_ how do you plan to care for an injured duck while you and Jake are at school all day?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ umm

 _Totally Bi Now:_ i didnt think this through

 _Gayer-One:_ my mom doesnt have work today

 _Gayer-One:_ i could ask if she could take care of him?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ that would be amazing

 _Gayer-One:_ ill go ask her now

 _Totally Bi Now:_ magic mike and his magic moms

 _J. Rolan:_ please never say that again

 _Gayer-One:_ she said that its okay but also asked why the fuck you have a duck

 _Totally Bi Now:_ a valid response

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Quackers was hurt at the park and i couldnt just leave him to suffer

 _Totally Bi Now:_ so now we all have a child

 _Gayer-One:_ is that why there was a photo of a duck with a sling?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ yep

 _Totally Bi Now:_ can i drop him off in 30 mins?

 _Gayer-One:_ yeh

 _Totally Bi Now:_ gucci

 _J. Rolan:_ not you too

 _Gayer-One:_ you know what?

**_Gayer-One has changed J. Rolan's name to "Gucci"_ **

_Gucci:_ okay

 _Gucci:_ I'm writing a whole post about how much of a little shit you are

 _Gayer-One:_ :)

**_ 0754 _ **

**_WTF Richard >>> Jack Daniel_ **

_WTF Richard:_ i dropped off Quackers at mikes house

 _WTF Richard:_ and i saw chlo

 _WTF Richard:_ she had different clothes than she did yesterday

 _Jack Daniel:_ why does that matter Rich?

 _WTF Richard:_ she spent the entire day at mikes

 _WTF Richard:_ she didnt go home

 _WTF Richard:_ meaning that she has different clothes at his house

 _Jack Daniel:_ so?

 _WTF Richard:_ Jake remember the process of me moving out of my dads house?

 _Jack Daniel:_ oh

 _WTF Richard:_ start small with a few outfits and then just disappear from that place

 _Jack Daniel:_ why would she move in with mike tho?

 _WTF Richard:_ i dunno 

_WTF Richard:_ jer said that she wasnt feeling good yesterday too

 _Jack Daniel:_ you think something happened at home?

 _WTF Richard:_ i dunno what else it could be tbh

 _Jack Daniel:_ do we ask her?

 _WTF Richard:_ we could ask her or mike

 _WTF Richard:_ youre closer with chlo than me tho so its up to you

 _Jack Daniel:_ ill ask her after school

 _Jack Daniel:_ hopefully today will be more calm

 _WTF Richard:_ its never calm for us

 _Jack Daniel:_ good point

**_ 0821 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ Michael has nearly crashed his car 4 times

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ we havent even left his street yet

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ im lucky to be in Brookes car instead 

_Sport:_ ;)

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ill kick you in the nuts

 _Sport:_ hey rude

 _Sport:_ just cause im pan doesnt mean that i dont want the option to have kids

 _Gayer-Two:_ wait what?

 _Sport:_ what?

 _Gayer-Two:_ youre pan?

 _Sport:_ yeah?

 _Sport:_ you didnt know?

 _Gayer-Two:_ NO

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ newsflash

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ Jeremy Heere has the worlds worst gaydar

 _Gayer-Two:_ hey

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ im not wrong

 _Gayer-One:_ she isnt

 _Mom:_ MICHAEL DO NOT TEXT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY

 _Gayer-One:_ :)

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ mikey

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i saw him put his phone down

 _Mom:_ Sibling powers

 _Gayer-Two:_ anyways

 _Gayer-Two:_ i do not have the worst gaydar

 _Mom:_ You thought that Jake was straight before this discussion

 _Gayer-Two:_ because hes the jock popular boy

 _Gayer-Two:_ its rare that theyre nice let alone lgbt

 _Sport:_ im not sure if thats an insult or a compliment

 _Gayer-Two:_ the popular kids are almost never lgbt

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ are you stereotyping us?

 _Gayer-Two:_ ...

 _Gayer-Two:_ maybe

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ rude

 _Gayer-Two:_ in my defence

 _Gayer-Two:_ you and Jake act like the straightest type of people

 _Gayer-Two:_ and youre the most popular people in school

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ just because were popular doesnt mean were straight

 _Gayer-Two:_ wait

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ it doesnt mean that were automatically straight

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ just because someone is popular it doesnt mean that theyre automatically straight

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ oh look at that time to leave bye

 _Gayer-Two:_ are you good?

**_ 0841 _ **

**_Gay Bitch >>> Gay Loser_ **

_Gay Bitch:_ ifhdgufod

 _Gay Loser:_ you moron

 _Gay Loser:_ i love watching you be a dumbass on the main

 _Gay Bitch:_ Brooke is giving me weird looks

 _Gay Loser:_ wonder why

 _Gay Bitch:_ shUT UP

 _Gay Bitch:_ WHAT DO I DO?????

 _Gay Loser:_ i think you have 2 choices

 _Gay Loser:_ 1\. come out

 _Gay Bitch:_ no

 _Gay Loser:_ OR 2. try not to be a moron 

_Gay Bitch:_ thats seems to be my default mode

 _Gay Loser:_ oh it totally is

 _Gay Bitch:_ ill key your car

 _Gay Loser:_ no you wont

 _Gay Bitch:_ fuck you

 _Gay Loser:_ no thanks

 _Gay Bitch:_ oh my gOD

 _Gay Bitch:_ mike mike mike mikey fuck

 _Gay Loser:_ what?

 _Gay Bitch:_ Brooke jsut gve me the cutest smile ever ebfroe going to clsaa

 _Gay Loser:_ youre a disaster

 _Gay Loser:_ more of a disaster than me

 _Gay Bitch:_ shut up

 _Gay Loser:_ you know

 _Gay Loser:_ i know ive get a chance with jer

 _Gay Loser:_ a tiny tiny chance but a chance

 _Gay Loser:_ Brooke could like you and youd never know because she thinks youre straight

 _Gay Bitch:_ you know what

 _Gay Loser:_ what?

 _Gay Loser:_ chlo

 _Gay Loser:_ what?

 _Gay Loser:_ dont leave me on a cliffhanger bitch

Gay Loser: bitchhhhh

**_ 0846 _ **

**_Queen >>> Mini Queen_ **

_Queen:_ hey Brooke

 _Mini Queen:_ yeah?

 _Queen:_ im gay

 _Mini Queen:_ wait seriously?

 _Queen:_ yeah

 _Mini Queen:_ oh

 _Queen:_ oh?

 _Mini Queen:_ thats great chlo! is there anyone you like?

 _Queen:_ yeah theres someone

 _Mini Queen:_ really? whats she like?

 _Queen:_ shes super sweet and pretty even though she doesnt think that she is sometimes

 _Queen:_ shes caring and shes always there for me if i need her

 _Queen:_ she helped me with things that i didnt know i needed help with and shes helped me grow as a person

 _Queen:_ shes the entire reason i became a better person after the whole play incident

 _Queen:_ shes kind and generous and she honestly deserves the world

 _Mini Queen:_ she sounds really great chlo

 _Queen:_ Brooke

 _Mini Queen:_ yeah?

 _Queen:_ its you

 _Queen:_ i like you

 _Queen:_ and i have since freshman year but i was too scared and too far in the closet to realise it

 _Queen:_ are you okay with that?

 _Mini Queen:_ come to the bathroom on the first floor

 _Queen:_ okay? 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Mentions of sex  
> Mentions of child abuse  
> Mentions of paedophilia (I think that's the correct word for it)

**_ 0912 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ okay why is chlo missing already?

 _Mom:_ Brooke's not in class either

 _Gayer-One:_ oh

 _Gayer-One:_ OH

 _Gucci:_ what?

 _Gayer-One:_ it suddenly makes sense

 _Gucci:_ what makes sense?

 _Gayer-One:_ queer shit

 _Gucci:_ what queer shit?

 _Gayer-One:_ youll find outtttt

 _Gucci:_ the suspense is already killing me

 _Gayer-One:_ gay suspense is the best suspense 

_Gucci:_ I mean, you're not wrong

 _Gayer-One:_ im never wrong

 _Gayer-Two:_ you were wrong about being able to drink an entire case of crystal pepsi

 _Gayer-One:_ okay shut up

 _Gucci:_ oh my god

**_ 0924 _ **

**_Gossip Bae >>> Gay Days_ **

_Gossip Bae:_ Michael Mell

 _Gay Days:_ Jenna Rolan?

 _Gossip Bae:_ by 'queer shit' did you mean Chloe and Brooke fucking in the bathroom?

 _Gay Days:_ WESHBFDJ

 _Gay Days:_ THEYRE FUCKING????

 _Gossip Bae:_ y e s

 _Gay Days:_ I HAD TO LEAVE MY CLASS

 _Gay Days:_ IM LAUGHING SO HARD OH MY GOD

 _Gossip Bae:_ I've never left a room quicker in my whole life

 _Gay Days:_ how do you know they were fucking?????

 _Gossip Bae:_ I don't think I can repeat what I heard while being sober 

_Gossip Bae:_ But, I can tell you one thing

 _Gay Days:_ pleaseeee

 _Gossip Bae:_ Chloe is the biggest bottom I've ever met

 _Gay Days:_ JHDFKALKSDKFH

**_ 0943 _ **

**_Bi 1 >>> Bi 2_ **

_Bi 1:_ well jer

 _Bi 1:_ you dont need to worry about Chloe and Michael at all

 _Bi 2:_ because Michael's gay?

 _Bi 1:_ thats one point

 _Bi 1:_ the other is that Chloe just came to class and shes definitely just fucked someone

 _Bi 2:_ Jesus christ

 _Bi 2:_ how do you even know?

 _Bi 1:_ her hairs all messy

 _Bi 1:_ her lipstick is smudged

 _Bi 1:_ theres an insane amount of hickeys 

_Bi 1:_ anddddd shes walking funny

 _Bi 2:_ okay thats wayyyy more information than i needed to know

 _Bi 2:_ you couldve just said that she looked like she was with someone

 _Bi 1:_ wheres the fun in that?

 _Bi 2:_ youre weird

 _Bi 1:_ i had a computer in my head for more than 2 years

 _Bi 1:_ im allowed to be weird

 _Bi 2:_ fair enough

**_ 1004 _ **

_**Jock™ >>> Popular™** _

_Jock™:_ so 

_Jock™:_ your morning seemed eventful

 _Popular™:_???

 _Jock™:_ you missed most of first period and when you actually turned up 

_Jock™:_ well

 _Popular™:_ ahahahaha

 _Popular™:_ so funny story

 _Popular™:_ i was attacked by a bear

 _Jock™:_ no you werent

 _Popular™:_ you have no proof that i wasnt

 _Jock™:_ you were literally in school this morning and didnt look like that

 _Popular™:_ oh look a bird

 _Jock™:_ Chloe this is digital conversation

_**Popular™ has sent a photo** _

_Jock™:_ you really just sent me a photo of a bird...

 _Popular™:_ yes

 _Jock™:_ Chloe

 _Popular™:_ you wont leave me alone until i tell you will you?

 _Jock™:_ nope

 _Popular™:_ dammit

 _Popular™:_ okay

 _Popular™:_ uh 

_Popular™:_ well

 _Popular™:_ imgayandimkindainlovewithbrookeandwehookedupinthebathroom

 _Jock™:_ ...

 _Jock™:_ you had your first time together in the school bathroom?

 _Popular™:_ maybe

 _Jock™:_ maybe??

 _Popular™:_ okay yes

 _Jock™:_ wait youre IN LOVE with her?

 _Popular™:_ yes

 _Jock™:_ aww

 _Popular™:_ shut up Jake

 _Popular™:_ youre in love with Rich

 _Jock™:_ and weve been dating for a month

 _Popular™:_ secretly 

_Jock™:_ not secretly, we just didnt announce it

 _Jock™:_ anyways

 _Jock™:_ i have something else that i wanted to talk to you about

 _Popular™:_ should i be scared?

 _Jock™:_ Rich saw you this morning at Michaels house

 _Popular™:_ yeah? Brooke and i spent the night

 _Jock™:_ he said you were wearing different clothes and that you hadnt gone home

 _Popular™:_ oh yeah

 _Popular™:_ it was just some stuff i had left since the last time i spent the night there

 _Jock™:_ chlo did something happen at home?

 _Popular™:_ what?

 _Jock™:_ Rich said that Michaels moms were treating you like their daughter but treating Brooke like she was just someone they had heard about

 _Popular™:_ i spend a lot of time there? they see me a lot?

 _Jock™:_ jer said that you werent feeling good too

 _Jock™:_ did something happen?

 _Popular™:_ no

 _Jock™:_ chlo im not gonna judge you or anything

 _Jock™:_ im just worried

 _Jock™:_ we know youve been arriving at school with mike this last week

 _Popular™:_ okay

 _Popular™:_ my mom came back from her trip earlier than she was meant to and she brought her new husband

 _Popular™:_ i was at Brookes house til late that night and came home at like 1 or something

 _Popular™:_ she was waiting for me

 _Popular™:_ she started screaming at me about how late it was and how it was irresponsible of me to be out even though it was the weekend

 _Popular™:_ and she 

_Popular™:_ hit me

 _Popular™:_ she dragged me by my wrist and locked me in my room to 'think about what I've done'

 _Popular™:_ my wrist was bleeding from where her nails had dug in

 _Popular™:_ the next morning i went for a shower and her husband tried to unlock the door

 _Popular™:_ he knew that i was in there and he was yelling through the door that he would help me become a better person

 _Popular™:_ i went to school and mikey saw the bruising on my wrist and asked what happened

 _Popular™:_ i ended up telling him everything and he said that he had a spare room that i could have until they left again

 _Popular™:_ so ive been staying at his house

 _Jock™:_ oh my god

 _Jock™:_ im so sorry

 _Popular™:_ you dont have anything to be sorry for?

 _Jock™:_ well yeah

 _Jock™:_ but im sorry that you had to deal with that

 _Jock™:_ where are you rn?

 _Popular™:_ skipping math in the east stairwell?

 _Jock™:_ im coming to give you the biggest hug ever

 _Popular™:_ youre literally the biggest softy ever

 _Jock™:_ duh

 _Jock™:_ ill be there in a second

 _Popular™:_ Jake?

 _Jock™:_ yeah?

 _Popular™:_ thank you

 _Jock™:_ for what?

 _Popular™:_ for listening and not judging me

 _Jock™:_ im giving you an even bigger hug now

** _1057_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

**_Gayer-One has sent a photo_ **

**_Totally Bi Now has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Heather Chandler 2.0 has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Banana has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Sport has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Gucci has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Mom has taken a screenshot_ **

**_Gayer-Two has taken a screenshot_ **

_Gayer-One:_ my mom just sent me that

 _Totally Bi Now:_ QUACKERS IS IN A BATH

 _Totally Bi Now:_ IM CRYING

 _Banana:_ can confirm

 _Banana:_ hes sobbing by his locker

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ Rich has the emotions of someone on their period

 _Gucci:_ I don't think I've ever heard a more accurate description of Rich

 _Totally Bi Now:_ rude

 _Sport:_ i mean

 _Sport:_ theyre not lying

 _Totally Bi Now:_ IM IN TOUCH WITH MY EMOTIONS SHUT UP

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ definitely someone on their period...

Totally Bi Now: i will expose you bitch

 _Gucci:_ thats my job

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ expose me of what

 _Totally Bi Now:_ ;)

 _Sport:_ ;)

 _Gayer-One:_ ;)

 _Gayer-Two:_ ;)

 _Gucci:_ ;)

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW????

 _Gucci:_ maybe don't do it in the main bathroom

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ OH

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ YOU KNOW T H A T

 _Mom:_ Wait, what does everyone know

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe fucked someone in the school bathroom

 _Mom:_ WHAT

 _Mom:_ DO YOU KNOW HOW UNHYGIENIC THAT IS?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i hate you Rich

 _Mom:_ CHLOE KATLYN VALENTINE

 _Gayer-One:_ full name

 _Gayer-One:_ someones in troubleeee

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ shut up Michael

 _Mom:_ I'm going to find you and drown you in hand sanitizer

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ does it have alcohol?

 _Mom:_ C H L O E

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ CAUSE THAT DRIES OUT YOUR SKIN

 _Gayer-One:_ sure bottom

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ MICHAEL

 _Totally Bi Now:_ my statement before was incorrect

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe got fucked by someone in the school bathroom


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Mentions of sex/masturbation  
> Implied/referenced self-harm  
> Mentions of homophobia

**_ 1107 _ **

**_Gay Loser >>> Gay Bitch_ **

_Gay Loser:_ im never letting you live any of this down

 _Gay Loser:_ oh i love being friends with the schools gossip

 _Gay Bitch:_ shut up im hiding from Christine and her stupid amount of hand sanitizer

 _Gay Loser:_ anyways

 _Gay Loser:_ you told Brooke that you're madly in love with her and she fucked you in the bathroom?

 _Gay Bitch:_ it was more

 _Gay Bitch:_ sentimental than that

 _Gay Loser:_ oh do share you bottom

 _Gay Bitch:_ SHUT UP

 _Gay Loser:_ ;)

 _Gay Bitch:_ asshole

 _Gay Loser:_ spill 

_Gay Loser:_ Jenna needs more gossip

 _Gay Bitch:_ ugh

 _Gay Bitch:_ i told her that i was gay and that i liked her and she told me to meet in the bathroom

 _Gay Bitch:_ so i go down and shes there and shes holding the card that we had to make in first grade for valentines day that i made for her

 _Gay Bitch:_ and shes smiling and theres tears in her eyes and she hands me the card and tells me to read it

 _Gay Bitch:_ and on the inside it says 'Brookie we will get married when we are 21 because we are meant to be'

 _Gay Bitch:_ and she tells me that she found it while clearing out her room before we started high school and that shes kept it in the back of her phone case since

 _Gay Bitch:_ because she realised that she still wanted it to happen and she wanted it to actually come true one day

 _Gay Bitch:_ and i start crying because thats the sweetest shit ever

 _Gay Bitch:_ then we hear a teacher outside the bathroom and we both hide in a cubical before they come in

 _Gay Bitch:_ and i just get lost in her eyes and she smiles that stupidly cute smile again and kisses me

 _Gay Bitch:_ and then one thing led to another and

 _Gay Bitch:_ well you know what happened apparently 

_Gay Loser:_ thats so gay

 _Gay Bitch:_ youre crying arent you?

 _Gay Loser:_ maybe

 _Gay Bitch:_ oh sHITDRNGJNS

 _Gay Loser:_ what???

 _Gay Loser:_ Christine found you didnt she?

**_ 1115 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe looks so unimpressed

 _Gayer-One:_ i think Chris attacked her with hand sanitizer

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ she got it in my mouth

 _Banana:_ what did she even do?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ you know those videos where people fill their hand with cream or something and smack another person?

 _Banana:_ yeah?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ she did that

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ with hand sanitizer

 _Gayer-Two:_ wouldnt that hurt?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ yes

 _Mom:_ I said I was sorry!

 _Totally Bi Now:_ mayhem

 _Totally Bi Now:_ anyways

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe who fucked you in the bathroom?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ HAAAAA

 _Gayer-Two:_ what?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ SHE READ THE MESSAGE AND SPAT OUT HER WATER

 _Totally Bi Now:_ THE TEACHER IS GIVING HER SUCH A DIRTY LOOK

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ SHUT UP RICHARD

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ anyways its not your business 

_Gayer-One:_ it was Brooke

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ MICHAEL

 _Totally Bi Now:_ WHAT

 _Mom:_ WHAT

 _Gayer-Two:_ WHAT

 _Banana:_ were you the only ones who didnt know?

 _Sport:_ im guessing so

 _Totally Bi Now:_ JAKE YOU KNEW AND DIDNT TELL ME??????

 _Sport:_ i respect their privacy

 _Gayer-Two:_ MICHAEL KNEW?

 _Gayer-One:_ Jenna told me

 _Gucci:_ I heard them in the bathroom

 _Gayer-Two:_ oh god i feel bad for you

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ at least we dont jack off 7 times a day

 _Gayer-Two:_ HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT???

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ a bitch never reveals her ways

 _Gayer-One:_ shut up bottom

 _Totally Bi Now:_ ohh she maddd

 _Sport:_ Jeremy is just angrily pouting at his phone 

_Gayer-One:_ he normally does tbh

 _Gayer-Two:_ shut up

**_1458_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Sport:_ uh oh

 _Mom:_ Uh oh? Why uh oh?

 _Sport:_ uh

 _Sport:_ im in the parking lot

 _Sport:_ and i just saw Madeline

 _Mom:_ Okay?

 _Sport:_ she just ran away from Brookes car

 _Banana:_ wait what?

 _Sport:_ oh my god

 _Banana:_ what?

**_Sport has sent a photo_ **

_Banana:_ oh

 _Mom:_ Oh my gosh...

 _Sport:_ do i call the police?

 _Gayer-One:_ thats vandalism so yes Jake

 _Sport:_ its spray painted on there

 _Sport:_ i dont know if it can wash off

 _Totally Bi Now:_ we can be out in a second and find out

 _Gayer-Two:_ my phone wont load the photo what happened?

 _Sport:_ Madeline spray painted the d-slur over the front Brookes car

 _Gayer-Two:_ oh my god

 _Gayer-One:_ how did she even find out

 _Sport:_ Jenna do you know?

 _Gucci:_ I didn't write a post and I'm sure that Dustin didn't either

 _Gucci:_ for once, I have no idea

 _Banana:_ Katrina

 _Gayer-One:_ who?

 _Banana:_ shes Madelines best friend

 _Banana:_ she sat behind us at lunch

 _Banana:_ she must have overheard something and told Madeline

 _Gayer-One:_ im gonna murder 2 bitches 

_Gayer-One:_ wheres chlo?

 _Mom:_ None of us share her last class today

 _Gayer-One:_ crap

**_ 1517 _ **

**_Gay Loser >>> Gay Bitch_ **

_Gay Loser:_ where are you???

 _Gay Loser:_ please chlo

 _Gay Loser:_ im worried

**_ 1521 _ **

_Gay Loser:_ Chloe

**_ 1529 _ **

_Gay Loser:_ Chloe please

 _Gay Loser:_ tell me where you are

**_ 1548 _ **

_Gay Bitch:_ woods

 _Gay Loser:_ are you safe?

 _Gay Bitch:_ no

 _Gay Loser:_ im coming to find you

 _Gay Loser:_ Brooke and Jake are at the police station so im taking jer with me okay?

 _Gay Bitch:_ ok

 _Gay Loser:_ are you hurt?

 _Gay Bitch:_ idk


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Implied possible suicide attempt  
> Mentioned hospitals  
> Mentioned hypothermia (idk if that's a trigger warning, but better to be safe than sorry)

**_ 1744 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Banana:_ ughgrwiufj

_Gucci:_ a mood

_Banana:_ the cops said that theyre gonna take the security footage from the school as proof and then theyll take actions

_Banana:_ in the meantime i dont have a car

_Mom:_ I'm sure that any of us can drive you wherever you need, Brooke

_Banana:_ thats really sweet but it still means that i cant go to Mcdonalds at three in the morning just for nuggets and a milkshake

_Sport:_ you make it seem like we wouldnt all be down for that

_Banana:_ thats a fair point

_Totally Bi Now:_ any of yall know where Jeremy is?

_Gucci:_ no, why?

_Totally Bi Now:_ i was just at his house cause he wanted to show me one of his old game systems but his dad said he left with Michael and that he was in a rush

_Gucci:_ probably just being gay somewhere

_Totally Bi Now:_ i dont think so

_Totally Bi Now:_ shockingly

_Banana:_ have you messaged them?

_Totally Bi Now:_ yeah no reply 

_Sport:_ hmm

_Mom:_ You don't think they're hurt, do you?

_Gucci:_ i don't think either of them are hurt, but maybe someone else is?

_Totally Bi Now:_ wait

_Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe disappeared when Jake found Brooke's car and we haven't heard from her since?

_Totally Bi Now:_ dont freak out on me im just guessing here

**_ 1758 _ **

**_Incoming call from 'Brookie <3'_ **

**_ 1801 _ **

**_Incoming call from 'Brookie <3'_ **

**_ 1803 _ **

**_Incoming call from 'Brookie <3'_ **

**_ 1806 _ **

**_Incoming call from 'Brookie <3'_ **

**_ 1808 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Banana:_ Chlo wont answer her phone

_Banana:_ what if something has happened??

_Banana:_ what if shes hurt or

_Banana:_ worse?

_Mom:_ Brooke, don't think like that

_Mom:_ I'm sure that she's okay

_Gayer-Two:_ bet?

_Banana:_ Jeremy

_Gayer-Two:_ sorry

_Gayer-Two:_ but anyways umm

_Gayer-Two:_ shes in the hospital

_Banana:_ WHAT??????

_Gayer-Two:_ when she read about what had happened to your car she panicked

_Gayer-Two:_ and just kinda... fled? to the woods

_Gayer-Two:_ and you know that it gets dark before we even finish school cause its winter

_Gayer-Two:_ well she kinda

_Gayer-Two:_ she was lost in her thoughts and wasn't paying attention and 

_Gayer-Two:_ she lost her footing and fell into the river

_Gayer-Two:_ well thats what we think happened

_Gayer-Two:_ none of us actually know what happened after that but Michael messaged her 

_Gayer-Two:_ she told him where she was and we went to get her

_Gayer-Two:_ we drove her to the hospital and they said she had hypothermia 

_Gayer-Two:_ shes okay just now and Michael is in the room with her

_Gayer-Two:_ im on my way to get the three of us food from the cantine

_Gayer-Two:_ but she hasnt said a word even though weve tried to talk to her

_Mom:_ Oh my god

**_ 1817 _ **

**_Mini Queen >>> Queen_ **

_Mini Queen:_ i love you

_Mini Queen:_ i love you so much

_Mini Queen:_ im walking to the hospital rn

_Mini Queen:_ i dont know what happened

_Mini Queen:_ i dont know if you did this on purpose

_Mini Queen:_ but im here for you

_Mini Queen:_ im always going to be here for you

_Mini Queen:_ i love you so much chlo

_Mini Queen:_ i dont think i can ever express how much i really love you

_Mini Queen:_ you mean everything to me

_Mini Queen:_ ill see you soon

_Mini Queen:_ i love you so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brooke: I don't know if you did this on purpose   
> Me: Me neither bitch, the fuck???


	9. Chapter 9

**_ 1946 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

**_Gayer-One has sent a photo_ **

_Mom:_ aww

 _Totally Bi Now:_ thats fuckdfig adorable 

_Gayer-Two:_ wont load i think my phone hates me

 _Sport:_ its Brooke and Chloe curled up on the hospital bed asleep

 _Sport:_ wait arent you at the hospital still??

 _Gayer-Two:_ nah i left a little bit after Brooke arrived

 _Gayer-One:_ im about to leave too

 _Gucci:_ is there any update on Chloe?

 _Gayer-One:_ she still wont speak

 _Gayer-One:_ like at all

 _Gayer-One:_ even to Brooke

 _Gayer-One:_ i was a good dude and left them alone for a while so they could do

 _Gayer-One:_ well whatever they did

 _Gayer-One:_ i came back and Chlo was asleep and being the little spoon which was cute

 _Gayer-One:_ Brooke told me that she hadnt said anything and then she passed out too

 _Gayer-One:_ hence the cute gay photo

 _Mom:_ god

 _Sport:_ i hope things will improve in the morning

 _Gucci:_ we all do Jake

**_ 0611 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ am i dead?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ no

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ shame

 _Totally Bi Now:_ Chloe

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ sorry

 _Totally Bi Now:_ how are you?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ physically? ive got 3 blankets and Brooke wrapped around me

 _Totally Bi Now:_ cute

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ mentally? idk 

_Totally Bi Now:_ do you remember what happened?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ kinda

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i saw the photo of Brooke's car and had a panic attack and ended up in the woods

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ and you know that weird way you get after a panic attack?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ yeh the confused and spaced out way

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ well i was like that and just wandering around i guess

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i think my foot got caught on a root or something and then it all goes blurry

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i remember being cold and i remember Michael being there

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ and suddenly im in a hospital room with him and Jeremy and they both look like theyre gonna cry

 _Totally Bi Now:_ can i ask why you werent talking?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ it happens a lot when im really stressed 

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ cause i kinda breakdown when im stressed and it was a mix of that and a panic attack after i saw what happened to the car

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ idk if ill be able to talk for most of today either tbh

 _Totally Bi Now:_ stuff like this has happened before?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ what getting hypothermia?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ no

 _Totally Bi Now:_ panic attacks and breakdowns and shit?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ oh

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ yeah

 _Totally Bi Now:_ why didnt you say anything?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ youve all got your own shit going on

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ you dont need mine too

 _Totally Bi Now:_ were all here for each other too

 _Totally Bi Now:_ if i needed to talk or vent or just cry to someone literally all of you would be there for me

 _Totally Bi Now:_ because thats the type of friends we are

 _Totally Bi Now:_ we dont bottle it up until it breaks us

 _Totally Bi Now:_ okay? all of us are gonna be here for you no matter what

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ really?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ yes really

 _Totally Bi Now:_ we all love you Chlo

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i love you guys too

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ thank you Rich

 _Totally Bi Now:_ anytime *upside-down smiley face*

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ did you just type upside-down smiley face?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ mayhaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, a few weeks ago: lets make a crack energy text fic  
> Me now: depression and sadness for all!!!!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**_ 0743 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ the doctors said i can get out by midday and Brooke is refusing to leave my side

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ and Michael brought us mcdonalds for breakfast

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ best brother vibes

 _Gayer-One:_ ur welcm

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ wanna try again??

 _Gayer-One:_ w e l c o m e

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ yay he did it!!

 _Gayer-One:_ i will take my mcdonalds back

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ no you will fucking not

 _Banana:_ you will McFuckin not

**_ 0744 _ **

**_Broke >>> Milk_ **

_Broke:_ Chloe has the most adorable laugh im weak

 _Milk:_ both of you are gay disasters

 _Broke:_ i didnt come here to be attacked

**_0746_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Sport:_ you cant take away their mcdonalds and expect to live to tell the tale

 _Totally Bi Now:_ once i tried to take one of Brookes fries and she stabbed my hand with her nails

 _Sport:_ her talons you mean?

 _Banana:_ want to keep your neck?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ dont lose ur head

 _Gayer-Two:_ was that

 _Gayer-Two:_ was that a musical reference?

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ mayhaps

 _Gayer-Two:_ 3

 _Gayer-One:_ 2

 _Sport:_ 1

 _Totally Bi Now:_ anddddd

 _Mom:_ I HEARD MUSICALS AND CAME RUNNING

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ jesus christ...

 _Totally Bi Now:_ wait chlo and Brooke get Mcdonalds for breakfast and i have to eat a stale tube of pringles???

 _Gayer-One:_ well you didnt HAVE to eat them

 _Totally Bi Now:_ im hungry 23/7

 _Gucci:_ what about that other hour?

 _Totally Bi Now:_ im more horny than hungry

 _Gucci:_ i regret asking

 _Gayer-One:_ youre only horny once a week??

 _Banana:_ this conversation took a weird turn

**_ 0757 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Mom:_ Divorced, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded, Survived

And tonight we are... Live!

Listen up let me tell you a story

A story that you think you've heard before

We know you know our names and our fame and our faces

Know all about the glories and the disgraces

I'm done 'cause all this time, I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme

So I picked up a pen and a microphone

Histories about to get overthrown.

Divorced

Beheaded

Died

Divorced

Beheaded

Survived

But just for you tonight

We're divorced, beheaded, live

Welcome to the show to the historemix

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Raising up the roof 'till we hit the ceiling

Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're...

Ex-wives.

All you ever hear and read about

Is our ex, and the way it ended

But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush

You're gonna find out how we got unfriended.

Tonight, we're gonna do ourselves justice, 'cause we're taking you to court.

And every Tudor rose has it's thorns

and you're gonna here 'em live, in consort.

Divorced

Beheaded

Died

Divorced

Beheaded

Survived

But just for you tonight

We're divorced, beheaded, live

Welcome to the show to the historemix

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Dancing to the beat, 'till the break of day

Once we're done, we'll start again, like it's the renaissance

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're...

Ex-wives

Divorced

My name is Catherine of Aragon

Was married 24 years,

I'm a paragon, of royalty

My loyalty is to the Vatican

So if you try to dump me, you won't try that again.

Beheaded

I'm that Boleyn girl, and I'm up next see

I broke England from the church

Yeah, I'm that sexy

Why did I lose my head?

Well my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red

Died

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved

Rude!

When my son was newly born, I died

But I'm not what I seem or am I

Stick around and you'll suddenly see more.

Divorced

Ich bin Anna of Cleves, Ja?

When he saw my portrait he was like, Ja

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic

Funny how we all discus that but never Henry's little...

Prick up your ears I'm the Katherine, who lost her head

Beheaded

For my promiscuity outside of wed

Lock up your husbands

Lock up your sons

K-Howard is here and the fun's begun

Survived

Five down I'm the final wife

I saw him to the end of his life

I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

I bet you wanna know how I got this far

I said, I bet you wanna know how we got this far

Do you wanna know how we got this far then...

Welcome to the show to the historemix

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Get your hands up get this party buzzing

You wanna queen bee well there's half a dozen

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're ex-wives

One, two, three, four, five...

Six!

 _Gucci:_ oh my god Christine

 _Sport:_ did you type that all out?

 _Mom:_ yes

 _Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i dont know how to reply to that

 _Mom:_ just embrace it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no motivation for any of my stories rn, ughhhh


	11. Chapter 11

**_ 0932 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Banana:_ Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

_Gayer-One:_ Drifting thought the wind

_Totally Bi Now:_ Wanting to start again

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin

_Gucci:_ Like a house of cards

_Sport:_ One blow from caving in

_Gayer-One:_ Do you ever feel already buried deep

_Totally Bi Now:_ Six feet under scream

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ But no one seems to hear a thing

_Banana:_ Do you know that there's still a chance for you

_Gayer-One:_ 'Cause there's a spark in you

_Sport:_ You just gotta ignite the light

_Gucci:_ And let it shine

_Totally Bi Now:_ Just own the night

_Gayer-One:_ Like the Fourth of July

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ 'Cause baby you're a firework

Banana: Come on show 'em what you're worth

_Totally Bi Now:_ Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

_Sport:_ As you shoot across the sky-y-y

_Gucci:_ Baby you're a firework

_Gayer-One:_ Come on let your colors burst

_Totally Bi Now:_ Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

_Banana:_ You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down down down

_Gayer-Two:_ you all do know that the song is basically about sex right?

_Banana:_ whyd you have to ruin it :(

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ jerry im gonna beat your ass

_Gayer-One:_ no youre not

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ shook

_Totally Bi Now:_ GAYYYYYY

_Banana:_ aww

_Gucci:_ okay but can we go back to Chloe saying shook please?????

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ hop off my dick Jenna

_Mom:_ okay, why did Jake just snort out his milk?

_Mom:_ oh

_Gucci:_ Jake was drinking plain milk?

_Banana:_ ew

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ he needs his bones to grow strong :)

_Totally Bi Now:_ just one bone

_Banana:_ EW

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ why would you say that...

_Totally Bi Now:_ :)

_Gayer-Two:_ wait 

_Gucci:_ here we go...

_Gayer-Two:_ are Rich and Jake a thing?

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ohhhhh myyyyy godddddd

_Gucci:_ this bitch really DOES have the worlds worst gaydar

_Gayer-Two:_ did you all know??

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ duh

_Gucci:_ duh

_Banana:_ yep

_Gayer-One:_ yeah

_Mom:_ yeah, sorry Jer

_Gayer-Two:_ am i that oblivious?

_Gayer-One:_ yes

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ yes

_Gayer-Two:_ ...?

_Gayer-One:_ ANYWAYS

_Gayer-One:_ get your education

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ don't forget from whence you came

_Mom:_ AND THE WORLD IS GONNA KNOW YOUR NAME

_Banana:_ WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MAN?

_Gucci:_ Alexander Hamilton

_Sport:_ my name is Alexander Hamilton

_Totally Bi Now:_ and theres a million things I havent done

_Mom:_ But just you wait, just you wait...

**_ 1013 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_**Gayer-One has changed Sport's name to "Milky Bitch"** _

_Milky Bitch:_ i will not stand for this

_Gayer-One:_ i can literally see you sitting down

_Milky Bitch:_ exactly i wont stand for it

_Gayer-One:_ you may be worse than Jeremy with dad jokes

_Mom:_ nothing can beat Jeremy and the entire "I'm joking- well I'm Jeremy" situation

_Gayer-One:_ true true

_Banana:_ Chris plz tell me that didnt happen

_Mom:_ it did and it was awful

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ im about to cry

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ what the FUCK jerry

_Gayer-Two:_ i feel attacked 

_Gayer-Two:_ i am a victim to this assault

_Mom:_ and I was a victim to your attempt at flirting

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ tHAT WAS FLIRTING????????

_Gayer-Two:_ YOURE NOT ANY BETTER

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ am so

_Gayer-One:_ no youre not

_Milky Bitch:_ no youre not

_Banana:_ ...

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ Brooke.

_Banana:_ im sorry, but no youre not

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i am BETRAYED

_Banana:_ :(

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ wait no dont be sad

_Gayer-One:_ whipped

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ill expose u

_Gayer-One:_ ill expose ur gay meltdowns in our dms

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ...

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ bitch

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ANYWAYS

_Banana:_ hmm

_Gayer-One:_ if you two fuck in the hospital istg

_Gayer-One:_ ew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iudkjasnshdkg
> 
> IDK
> 
> why are they singing Katy Perry...?


	12. Chapter 12

**_1143_ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Totally Bi Now:_ remember when jake came to school in his wheelchair and chloe compared him abby lee miller and when she rolled away during that one dance competition?

_Banana:_ you just made both of us choke on water

_Totally Bi Now:_ were you both drinking water at the same time??

_Banana:_ yes bitch

_Totally Bi Now:_ gay

_Gayer-One:_ i got sent out of class for laughing too loudly

_Gucci:_ he tried to explain to the teacher that he had just remembered something funny

_Gucci:_ the teacher asked what and he tried to say it but couldnt make it to the word wheelchair before literally howling with laughter

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ i thought that jerry was the furry not michael

_Gayer-One:_ im turning your room into a weed den

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ that is LITERALLY your basement wdym

_Gucci:_ wait why do you have a room at michaels house?

_Gayer-One:_ w h o o p s

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ family is shit, michael is a good dude, i temporarily live with him now :)

_Totally Bi Now:_ shitty family gang?

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ shitty family gang

_Banana:_ rich im gonna give you such a tight fucking hug when i see you next

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ oh jesus

_Gayer-One:_ what?

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ she just launched herself at me and is refusing to let go

_Gayer-Two:_ well do you WANT her to let go

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ...

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ no

_Gayer-One:_ whipped

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ ill beat you up

_Gayer-One:_ i dont have a comment for that because you easily could

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ (:

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ also can you guys like

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ n o t

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ tell people about what i said plz

_Gucci:_ about your family being trash? of course

_Gucci:_ about you being whipped for brooke? 

_Gucci:_ ...

_Gucci:_ we'll see 

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ this is an attack

_Gucci:_ (:

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ dONT USE MY SMILEY FACE AGAINST ME

_Gayer-One:_ (:

_Gayer-Two:_ (:

_Totally Bi Now:_ (:

_Milky Bitch:_ (:

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ this is biphobia

_Gucci:_ two bi people also joined in with that

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ this is chlophobia

_Gayer-One:_ shh chlorine

_Heather Chandler 2.0:_ im gonna lock you out of your own house 

_Gayer-One:_ you are literally being held captive in the hospital with a wild brooke attached to you

_Banana:_ fuck off xoxo

_Gayer-Two:_ glkudfhjkfhgl

_Gucci:_ i want to hear someone say that aloud

_Mom:_ just listen to jake choke on milk, its the exact same noise

_Milky Bitch:_ hey :(

_Totally Bi Now:_ who made my jakey d sad???

_Totally Bi Now:_ wait

_Totally Bi Now:_ i cant be mad at chris but she made jake sad

_Totally Bi Now:_ emotions? conflicted

_Gucci:_ rich is having his period emotions again

_Totally Bi Now:_ leave me alone JENNA

**_ 1307 _ **

**_We're Gathered Heere To-Gay_ **

_Gayer-One:_ the AUDACITY 

_Gayer-One:_ OF THIS BITCH

_Banana:_ what?

_Gayer-One:_ KATRINA TRIED TO TALK TO ME

_Banana:_ ew

_Gucci:_ what was she saying?

_Milky Bitch:_ more gossip for the page?

_Gucci:_ im trying to gather evidence against katrina and madeline 

_Banana:_ evidence?

_Gucci:_ you and chlo could sue them for various things including assault and vandalism

_Gucci:_ only if you wanted

_Gucci:_ but i like to be prepared

_Gucci:_ and even if you dont want to i can use this to publicly shame the shit out of them both

_Gucci:_ ruin their reputations and chances of going to college

_Banana:_ thats evil

_Banana:_ i love it

_Gayer-One:_ well 

_Gayer-One:_ she was saying how she found it funny that brooke and chloe both werent at school today

_Gayer-One:_ and how the rumours were maybe right?

_Gucci:_ the only rumours going around about you two are that neither of you are at school 

_Gucci:_ which isn't even a rumour, its just the facts

_Banana:_ she probably just wants to start shit

_Gayer-One:_ i told her that she should mind her own business or else she might need another nose job

_Gayer-One:_ she shoved past me and ran off somewhere

_Gayer-One:_ being friends with jenna has many perks

_Gayer-One:_ knowing the gossip about every single person at this school is one of them

_Gucci:_ youre welcome mell


End file.
